Afraid of Cancer? By Barbara Edwards
I’d be a fool not to have the fear niggling in the back of my mind despite all the reassurances about the odds.
Atypical cells are not cancer. Not yet, maybe never. I could get run over by a bus and not have to worry at all. I have to laugh at myself. I had a dear friend who required a double mastectomy and kept her good spirits and joy of life through the whole process. She’s a sweet woman who is a survivor. How can I obsess over my own problem? I guess because they are mine.
My lumpectomy is scheduled for next Tuesday and I will be so glad to have it over. I am anxious. This date was the next available when I called and I thought two weeks was a hellishly long time to wait.
I had to have a physical by my doctor and my cardiologist and the breast surgeon. If it’s not a big deal why do I need all this extra fuss? I needed more blood-work and to stop taking any herbals, aspirin, etc two weeks before the date. Cut that one close.
On top of that, my new book, Journey of the Magi, A Christmas romance, is being released on Monday. I’ve been scurrying around scheduling blog visits, planning tweets and posts for Facebook and trying to work on my next book.
I feel like I’m on a roller coaster. Up one minute, down the next.
The breast surgeon has a wonderful bedside manner. I had a list of questions and she sat down and answered them all before I could ask. I guess everyone has the same worries. She did add that the chance of my atypical cells being cancer is one in one hundred. I breathed a big sigh of relief. Then my very active brain injected that I buy a lottery ticket with odds worse than that and expect to win. Geez.
So I going to admit that I am worried and afraid. There. I said it. I don’t have to put on a happy face to share this with you. Every woman knows what I feel. And offers support. I do thank all of my friends, those who commented and my family. Without you and what you’ve shared, I would be a wreck. The prayers have wrapped me in comfort. Thanks
If you get a chance, visit my website www.barbaraedwards.net
Barbara Edwards Comments 
Still thinking of you, Barbara. Waiting is the worst. Once you know what’s what, you know what you have to deal with. Hang in there.
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Prayers and thoughts still coming your way. The waiting is always the worst.
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Thanks for the prayers. I feel them. holding me up.
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Having to wait is dreadful. I’m keeping you in my prayers as you go through this hard time.
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Thanks Elaine. I believe in the the power of prayer.
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Wishing you all the best, Barbara. The waiting is sometimes the worst. You’ll do great!
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Hi Jennifer,
And I’m not a patient person. sigh.
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Good luck Barbara. I hope all goes well and Tuesday and you get the result you wish for. Hugs, prayers and thoughts with you xx
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Thanks for the prayers. I do appreciate them.
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Still thinking of you and praying that the procedure will be short and painless and will result in the wonderful determination that you are free of cancer and can go on living your busy and productive life for many more years in total health and happiness.
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Thanks. I appreciate the good wishes.
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Still keeping you in my thoughts. I’m glad that you have the surgery scheduled. I will be looking for that post that says everything is alright! 🙂
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Thanks, Melissa. I’d have a drink, but no alcohol before surgery. sigh.
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Thanks, Patti. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Happy for you.
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My good thoughts go out to you, Barbara. I had a suspicious looking mammo in 2006 and after a biopsy found out I had DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ). I was one of the lucky ones, though, because it’s Stage 0 and after deciding on a mastectomy of my right breast, I didn’t have to have chemo or radiation or drug therapy and it’s been 7 years and now the stats for me are the same for everyone else my age (61). Good luck with your lumpectomy and keep smiling. You’ll be okay.
Patti
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