Fruitcake? Not me!

Oh no, the dreaded fruitcake!

Every Christmas table has been blessed with a fruitcake. Every family has the sory of the fruitcake that is re-gifted for years. A form of immortality I think.

You have to understand about fruitcake. It is a mix of candied fruit, nuts, raisins, and a very thick cake batter that is baked then soaked in brandy. Or rum. Or sherry. For weeks. Or months. Or a year if no-one wants to eat the heavy thing.

This year I baked a ten pound fruitcake. Honest. That was the name of the recipe. And it felt like ten pound after I finished.

I wrapped it in sherry soaked cheesecloth, wrapped it with foil and put it in a cool place to flavor. Every week for three weeks, I re-soaked the cheesecloth and therefore the cake. It smelled delicious.

The day before my family gathered for Christmas dinner I decorated the top with green and red cherries. It looked so festive!

My Fruitcake

Understand, my sons are willing to try anything I put on the table. I expected the fruitcake to be a big hit; instead it was, ah, something else.

Everyone protested being too full to try a piece.

Hard to keep up the denial as they scoffed up the cheesecake, the apple pie, the mince pie, and the oatmeal-raisin cookies.

A good-hearted daughter-in-law cut two slices and quartered them on a plate. The plate circled the table of twenty guests and returned with one piece gone. I think my grandson fed it to the dog.

I wasn’t disappointed. Not much.

The funny thing is that as the evening progressed and we drank coffee and chatted, the fruitcake quarters disappeared along with several more slices.

When we shared out the left-overs so I wouldn’t eat them all, several more slices went out the door.

Will I be making fruitcake next year? Maybe. It might be more fun to make a Boche de Noel (Christmas Log). I’ll see.

Hope your Holiday, be it Christmas, Hannukah or something else, be joyous.

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Author: Barbara Edwards

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12 thoughts on “Fruitcake? Not me!”

  1. Barbara–I believe I am the only person in the universe who loves fruitcake. I’ll even eat one of those out of a tin someone buys at Wal-Mart. A couple of years ago, I wrote a blog titled “Can a Fruikcake stop a Speeding bullet?” I’d found a utube video of some hunters who had a shooting range set up with fruitcakes on pedestals. Every fruitcake stopped a speeding bullet.
    I also sent it to my local paper and they printed my article about Fruitcake–but I included my own recipe. People called me at home to make sure they had the instructions right because they were going to make one. I had so much fun with it that year.
    So, I liked your post, yes we all make fun…but with a cup of coffee–I’ll take a slice of fruitcake, please.


  2. My grandmothers and even my husband’s grandmother got into baking fruit cake. With Joe’s peanut/nut allergy I’ve not really wanted to try. I usually have the kids make sugar cookies.



  3. Barbara, you’re brave to cook a fruitcake. I didn’t realize it involves so much work. I love fruitcake and we buy one from Cotsco every year, but sure enough I’m the only one who ends up eating the whole thing. So this year no more fruitcake. I’d rather not have the five pounds loaded on my hips.


  4. Taking my inspiration from you I went down the road and made fruitcake this year as well based on a recipe suggested by my loving wife. It is sitting in a safe location right now slowly absorbing the brandy (recipe called for rum in the cake and brandy to “marinate”). Needs a week or so and some more brandy to really get where it needs to be. If nothing else, may get a good buzz from the cake…lol. I cannot deny it, I LIKE FRUITCAKE. Thanks for giving me the motivation to give it a whirl, Mom!! Great tale (and I know my brothers are closet fruitcake eaters)! Sorry I missed your cake, although it will probably still be good in a couple of months next time I see you.


  5. Too funny, Barbara! Fruitcake always reminds me of the ones Grandma made for each household one year. Now my dad will eat nearly anything but I’m quite sure some of that fruitcake went … well, uneaten. Beats me why so many are still made.


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